Trying to fit in

I got an award last night, and today, I thought people would congratulate me. I thought some of my friends would come up to me and talk to me about it. But no. They did not.

I wish people knew more about me. I wish they knew that I am awesome, and I am talented, and I’m trying not to sound whiny, but I feel like people don’t really talk to me. And the friends that do know me spend a lot of time in the theatre office, so I feel like I don’t talk to anyone during the day. I know we have limited time in the halls because we’re trying to get to our classes on time.

Also, I don’t have any friends in my classes, and that is for two reasons: 1. I spent up till seventh grade at Bigelow, which is in the district, but then for 8th and 9th grade I went to Learning Prep, a school for people with language based learning disabilities, and then I came back to the district and repeated 9th grade at North. That switch put me in an awkward situation when it came to friends. I mean, Learning Prep was ok, because I made progress with my academics, but I was having trouble fitting in when I got back to the district.

Also, I made a poster in graphics and I hung it up the other day on Main Street, and I thought that would get me more attention. I mean, I don’t mean to sound like I’m being selfish and like i’m the only that matters, but i’m trying to get more people to recognize me, and people to not make me feel invisible, because that’s the way I feel now, at that’s not okay.

I must admit: i’m introverted. I’m maybe more introverted than most people, but we’re all trying to fit in, right? I’m trying to be more extroverted and talk to more people, but for example in the cafeteria, it’s too big and too crowded and it’s hard for me to find people to sit with. I’ll keep trying, but it’s hard.

I wish people would recognize me more. Of course they're not ignoring me, but I wish I could have more conversations with friends. Like hanging out after school, you know? But they will take time, unfortunately.

The power of a disability

A lot of people have challenges. And challenges mught come in all sorts of ways. But especially a theatre artist with a disability can get unrepresented. 

Tonight, I’ve heard stories of people with and without disabilities so I wanted to reflect on that.

These actors, educators and artists with disabilities all had obstacles they had to overcome. For example, EJ, a hard of hearing actor, has difficulty, when someone doesn’t have a visual cue, he misses his line. Because he is deaf, without any communication from the other actors on stage, it would be very difficult.

When you’ve never seen someone with a disability on stage, we need to ask ourselves why are we not casting people with disabilities? 

Also, people SHOULD have the opportunity to be able to be on the stage. They shouldn’t be marginalized. I keep saying this, but I think it’s really really important 

It’s important that we continue to have these conversations. It doesn’t stop tonight. If we keep pushing and pushing, we will open up a opportunity for people with disabilities in the arts. And I’m still young, so I have a world of opportunity ahead 

Inspire change in the disability community

There’s more we can do to inspire change in our community. Tonight’s book event helped me realize that.

I just came back from an understanding our differences book event, where an amazing, 14 year old girl talked about her book, Mia Lee is Wheeling through Middle School. It’s amazing that at 14 years old, she has already written a book.

She talked about the book and her own life expectancies, and I related to a lot of what she said. For example she doesn’t like when people judge her on her disability first. I feel the same way. When we judge people on their disability, 1. It makes them feel bad, and 2. We don’t really take the time to get to know them. 

The second thing she said that I think was important was that there is still more we can do. Because people will disabilities get marginalized half the time, they shouldn’t. They are just a normal human being on this earth, and they deserve the same amount of respect, and it’s really not fair that they are being marginalized just because of their differences.

There is still more we can do to help people with disabilities have an equal opportunity. I will not stop advocating for this issue, because I think it’s a very important issue.